I'm now back home in Aus and have been working my butt of
at a bar in the city to save money for my next adventure.
People often say "why
are you working in a bar?! Surely you make a mint modelling?" Truthfully, I
don’t. Yes some jobs pay really well but since Australia is a commercial market and
I'm classified as an editorial girl, the jobs can be few and far between, so to
prevent myself from going stir crazy and eating into my savings, when I'm back here I always get another job on the side.
Sure course bar work isn't what I want to do, it’s long hours and
can be quite dry but I try to find the interesting side to it and luckily the
coolest, kookiest people work with me. Of course some people are so fucking stupid and others are so rude, both of which makes me want to reach over and slap them silly but most of the time the general clientele is oddballs and hipsters, which when they're under the influence, can lead to some very amusing situations.
These are my favourite moments so far:
- Cactus Man- I was cleaning the bar late one Saturday night and was nearly at my wits end with the ridiculous amount of idiots that had been in that night. As I walked to the other end of the bar I caught a man digging at one of the cacti with his keys. When I asked him to what he was doing and if he could pretty please stop it he said ''But I want to eat it. I want to see what it tastes like. how about a cactus taco?''
- Does she love me?!-One night a slightly inebriated man (we'll call him Tim) came up to the bar and asked me for love advice, why me? I have no idea! Tim was drinking with 3 female friends to celebrate his upcoming overseas trip. He told me he'd been secretly in love with a female friend of his for 19 years but never had done anything about it incase it ruined there friendship but now he had a new girlfriend of 6 months who he thought he loved but was unsure how he could love both at the same time and who he should be with. Quite the rookie in the love area I just asked if he loved them the same way and that maybe one was just lust rather than love. His eyes lit up as if a light bulb had just gone off in his head and he said "YEAAAAHHHH maybe ones just lust!"and quickly scuttled off. For the next hour I could see him on the CCTV outside chatting away to someone whilst two of his friends kept running up and peering through the window at him. One of his pepping tom friends came up to the bar to order a drink and giggled telling me that two of her friends had been secretly in love with each other for 19 years and they were outside talking and maybe this was the night they'd get together. This bizarre yet cute little love plot was keeping me nicely amused on the quiet week night so I asked her to keep me posted incase they did make out/pash/get it on. Time went by, Tim's friends got bored spying and I became preoccupied with other things. I started closing down the bar and as I turned around to load the dishwasher I randomly glanced at the CCTV just in time to see a female arm reach out, grab Tim by the collar and pull him out of the picture. I yelled out to his friends who rushed over to the window and started dancing at the sight of their friends finally kissing after all those years. When Tim came back inside hand in hand with his girl he couldn't wipe the smile off his face and high fived me as he left. I wonder what ever happened with them.
- Roids are not good for you- I have never seen anything more than a few terse words and a push at our bar until last weekend when two separate groups of northern English roided up guys and fake as fuck looking girls had an all in 40 people brawl for god knows what reason. Punches were thrown, people were pushed and they were all swiftly kicked out just to start it all up again on the street. The fight got so bad the cops were called and pretty much cleared out the bar. Talk about killing the vibe!
- Taco Bitch- Sometimes the customers decide we're the bad guys and turn their negative attention on us. We asked one lady to leave after she had been caught drinking after being cut off as well as having home brought tequila with her. It took us 20 minutes to get her out of the building and when we finally did two of her friends stormed over to my tiny manager and started hurling abuse, ending with my personal fave "Have fun with your taco life you taco bitch". My manager just stood there and copped it which made this lovely patron more infuriated causing her to run outside and kick over all the barrels. Imagine what would have happened if we'd kicked HER out rather than her friend?!
- Woodstock staff party-So technically this wasn't at the bar but the head bosses through a major Woodstock themed party for all the bars under their control which was epic. Lots of flowers, booze, sunshine and boobs thanks to one party go-er. Oh what a day!
x
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